The Musings of a Child
by Here's Your Cheese Omelette
Summary: No matter how much he tries to cover it up, Ciel still is, and is merely, a child.
1. Sweets

**A/n:** Yo. Don't feel like saying much now. I'm rather irritated at how I'm stuck with my newest fanfic (an EnvyxEd one). Anyway, I wrote this while sitting in a coffee shop, waiting for my mom to come pick me up. While waiting, I got bored, strolled over to National Bookstore, which was across where I sat, bought a notebook and pen, and began writing. This is the result.

I am sooo out of practice…

I'm so sorry that it is mediocre, but try to enjoy it all the same.

**Warning:** Ciel is OOC here. I'm sure many will notice that he is. And this is unbeta'd, so expect errors. Lots of errors.

**Disclaimer:** Kuroshitsuji is not mine. Sad, isn't it?

___

**The Musings of a Child**

By

Here's Your Cheese Omelette

--

**Chapter one:** _Sweets_

___

Ciel rarely had times such as these. It was a pleasure for him, when most people could have this at a daily occurrence.

The young earl sat at his desk, paperwork tucked away for completion at a later date, with a slice of cake fully at his disposal before him. He wondered silently if he was getting addicted to the treats his butler offered him. More and more, he began to eagerly await the time Sebastian would bring him his tea, along with a delicious hand made dessert.

Ciel sulked at the thought. If he was becoming addicted, then that would mean Sebastian had control over him. Never mind it was incredibly minute, he would not let it be. The demon was already arrogant; who knows how he would act if he knew his master was being tempted by sweet treats.

To submit because of something so trivial as desert…

Ciel shuddered at the thought.

But they are sooo good. Ciel's mind complained. They melted in your mouth, and were the perfect sweetness!

No! Bad Ciel! This is what Sebastian wants you to do! He wants you to think about its deliciousness and become even more addicted.

Ah!

By saying more, it meant I already am! No! I am not loving that delicious… moist… tasty…

Ah!

Bad brain, bad!!! Don't go down the path of no return!

All of a sudden, the great doors of his office opened, and Sebastian poked his head inside.

"Milord?" The demon said, before entering the room with a meal cart in tow. "If you do not wish to eat the chocolate cake I set out for you, I also prepared an apple pie, if you would prefer to have that."

Ciel furrowed his eyebrows and glared at the butler, as he set about cutting him a slice of pie, and placing it on his desk next to the untouched slice of cake. The earl stared at the new treat, debating whether to take his fork and stab it with it, or whether to take his fork and take a big bite of the pie.

After a few seconds, his decision remained unmade. Instead, he opted to gaze at his butler, who was smiling pleasantly before him.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you Sebastian?" Ciel said in an accusing tone.

Sebastian's face let out a brief expression of shock, before quickly having a smile regrace his features. "What ever do you mean, Milord?"

--

**A/n:** -groans- Again, I am sooo out of practice. That was horrible!!! Please tell me what you think! Click that button below saying 'review' and let me know, thanks!

Next chapter: The Help


	2. The Servants

**A/n:** Hallo! I originally planned for this to be a multi-chaptered fic, but I sort of lost interest in it. This chapter will probably be the last, unless I suddenly want to make another chapter. Until then, this fic will now be labeled 'Complete'.

And I know that the reason why Meilin, Bard and Finnian work in the Phantomhive estate was already revealed. I wrote this before the episode came up, but posted it late. Also, it doesn't really make a difference, because the only one who doesn't know the truth in the Phantomhive manor is Ciel. And since this is Ciel-centered, it's all good!

**Warning:** OOC?

**Beta'd by:** Denzel. Thanks, hon.

_-_-_-_-_-_

**The Musings of a Child**

By

Here's Your Cheese Omelette

--

**Chapter Two:** _The Servants_

_-_-_-_-_-_

Now, no matter what time of day it was, there had always been a question at the back of his mind, nagging at him.

How did those three come to work for him?

The young earl let out a deep sigh, sinking deeper into his office chair. Just moments ago, Sebastian informed him that Meilin had broken yet _another_ expensive tea set along with several other items; Bard had burnt yet a_nother_ high class beef, as well as part of the kitchen; Finnian had _once again_ turned his garden into a wasteland; and to top it all off, it was still early in the morning.

Things couldn't get any more difficult.

"Ciel~!" came a loud and happy voice. Although the owner was still behind closed doors, Ciel knew that it could only be Prince Sohma.

'Oh great,' Ciel thought darkly as Sohma and Agni entered his office.

"Prince Sohma," Ciel began, feeling a small anger mark appear at his forehead. "Why are you here?"

"Aww. Don't be like that, Ciel," the prince whined as he bounced merrily towards the young earl. "You should be honored I grace you with my presence so often! Anyway, shouldn't you be happy to see your best friend?"

"Since when were we ever 'best friends'?" Ciel remarked.

"Oh, Ciel!" Sohma cried as he leaped towards the unsuspecting boy, tackling him into a large hug. "You didn't deny that we were friends this time; just best friends!"

"Let go of me!" Ciel cried out as he attempted to claw his way out of Sohma's grasp. "Sebastian!"

"This is cause for celebration!" Sohma said, releasing Ciel, who, dropping to the floor, dusted his clothes and returned to his desk; where he watched his two 'guests' do whatever nonsense they did.

"Agni!" the prince said, walking to where Agni stood near the entrance.

"Yes, Prince Sohma?" the butler replied.

"We must ready a feast! Let us go to the kitchen and see what can be made!" the Indian said as he began to leave the room, with Agni trailing behind him. "Agni, make sure you prepare your delicious curry, okay? A special occasion needs a special dish to go with it!"

"Prince Sohma!" Agni cried, tears gathering at the butler's eyes. Admiration and passion filled his gaze as he followed his Prince. "I am not worthy of such praise!"

Although Ciel could still hear them even though the door was already closed, he breathed out a huge sigh of relief. He had enough trouble to deal with without the idiot pair grating on his nerves.

Problems…

Which was it again?

Hmm…

Oh, right. Those three…

Seriously, how _did_ they end up here?

Ciel was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts when a huge explosion resounded; no doubt coming from the general direction of the kitchen.

"I don't need this headache now…" Ciel muttered as he felt his brow knot in displeasure.

"And didn't I call Sebastian? Where is he? Sebastian!"

_-_-_-_-_-_

**A/n: **Finicky!!!

And I know. Agni and Sohma are weird; but I had a rip snorting good time when I wrote it. Please review ok?!

**BC: **Agni and Sohma were IC! So cute. :D

It's a fun oneshot! I loved editing this. Haha.

[Sebastian's out with his cats again :p]

~Denzii.

**A/n:** Yep, yep. Anyone got another plausible reason why Sebastian was missing?


	3. Games

**A/n:** In contrast to the previous chapters, Ciel does some deeper thinking here. I kind of focused this chapter on what happens – and the mood – in the few final episodes. And instead of my usual LOVE-LOVE SebxCiel fantasies, I tried to be more realistic with the situation.

Bottom line: Sebby is a demon who only wants his end of the contract.

**Disclaimer:** I disclaim.

**Beta'd by: **Denzii.

* * *

**The Musings of a Child**

by

Here's Your Cheese Omelette

..

**Chapter three:** _Game of Life_

* * *

It's not like I didn't think about it. I know the life I lead has only one end. I know I will die by _his_ hand. By Sebastian's hand.

The price of the devil is high, but a Phantomhive does not have such a limiter in one's vocabulary – especially when it involves prices.

I was prepared. I'm sure that I was firm, confident, and unafraid of my choices—the moves I chose to play in my game of life.

Now that I think about it, perhaps my life is just another one of my many games – a silly, roundabout board game to pass the time – and, when once I reach the goal, it's game over. I'll have achieved the objectives of the game, but the only real winner will be Sebastian.

He will be the game master, while we will all be the chess pieces — used and then thrown away. The irony of reality is cruel, yet inescapable, because it is the truth.

Perhaps this is what my fondness for games was born from? Was it because I wished to be a player, and wished to deny that I was merely a pawn in Sebastian's strategy?

Was my obsession with games, and besting Sebastian in one way or another, born from this?

Was I afraid of death? Was I afraid of losing the game?

If so, I deny it.

I am Earl Ciel Phantomhive.

I do not fear death, because I chose to die. I do not fear losing, because I will not lose.

That's it. Plain and simple.

And until the day I die, until the day I become Sebastian's meal or plaything or whatever, I will be the player, and I will use him however I wish. No matter how difficult or impossible my strategy may be. The only thing my piece needs to do is go where I tell him to.

And until the day Sebastian makes my life hell, I will do just that to him. Let the demon know that Ciel Phantomhive does **not** go down without a fight.

_~Ciel Phantomhive_

* * *

**A/N:** There. I added another chapter! Just to finish things off for good. This will probably be the last chapter na jud. If you want another chapter, just suggest a chapter theme.

Please comment!

**BC:**

It's very… serious, compared to your usual Kuroshitsujis. Haha. But it's nice!

Ciel's really IC in this one, great job. Just added a bit of punctuation markings here and there because I'm OC.

…

And do I sense a part of you in this fic? :)

**A/n:** I have no idea!!! Maybe?


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